Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think I died a long time ago.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
whose ass print is on the piano?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
