Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
FUCK WHALES
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
