one might say we're banned from that church
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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