brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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