Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
