what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize