Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
