True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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