he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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