at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
