Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize