do herpes really smell.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
