i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
