I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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