I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
