they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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