i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude i'm inner monologue high
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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