i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I can't put those talents on a resume
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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