So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
