He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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