I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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