textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
