i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
