well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
