So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
