I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Blood and glitter go together right?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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