i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
