One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
