yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
