with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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