I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
