Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
