My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
