i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just pee around me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
