How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
