I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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