I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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