it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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