My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
