Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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