Who wears a wallet chain?!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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