I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
