No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
