When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
