Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
wow bdsm is so cute
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
