i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
