if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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