So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
