She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
