i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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