called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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