so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
