I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
