I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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