is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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