I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
