I'm so fucking centered right now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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