I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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