I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
