If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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