ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
